Satirical fake-news organization The Onion today published a story to its website that presents the self-storage business as an occupational magnet for losers. With a headline, “Life Choices Leading Area Man to Career in Self-Storage,” the spoof article is about a 28-year-old sculptor who moved into a neighborhood of “old warehouses,” close to a self-storage facility. The article implies the sculptor will have to apply for a job at the facility because he never graduated from college or got married. It concludes by saying that although the man is “powerless to avoid his future occupation, he will quickly be promoted to manager thanks to his preternatural ability to hand out metal keys.”
 
Source: The Onion, Life Choices Leading Area Man to Career in Self-Storage

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